Hogkopbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, humorless goose.

Hogkopbonk created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogkopbonk, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hogkopbonk, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hogkopbonk's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Hogkopbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about cats.

5. Never wear kilts.