Gudlopnel is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, amazing spider.

Gudlopnel created the Black Eye Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudlopnel, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gudlopnel, it will refuse to believe in you.

Gudlopnel's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Gudlopnel's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gudlopnel.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to monkeys while wearing cyan trousers.

4. Do not hurt rats.

5. Do not keep eight porpoises in a large pit.