Fatquatbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous gerbil.

Fatquatbarn created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatquatbarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatquatbarn, it will jump up and down on your head.

Fatquatbarn's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fatquatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never hop in the presence of frogs.