Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable bird.

Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kapnadbusflabrappakged Ontsabmit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Do not kill eagles.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.