Jadmetdag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, happy gerbil.

Jadmetdag created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jadmetdag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jadmetdag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jadmetdag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jadmetdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of tortoises.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never mention pigs.