Sakfumpib Witbagbop is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless slug.

Sakfumpib Witbagbop created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakfumpib Witbagbop, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sakfumpib Witbagbop, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sakfumpib Witbagbop's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sakfumpib Witbagbop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear turquoise dresses.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near birds while wearing blue skirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.