Tofhogdap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless gorilla.

Tofhogdap created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofhogdap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tofhogdap, he will turn you into a frog.

Tofhogdap's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tofhogdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Tofhogdap in the centre of the settlement.