Abwaphan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unfair goose.

Abwaphan created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abwaphan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Abwaphan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Abwaphan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Abwaphan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Run away if nine moths approach from the west.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Abwaphan in the centre of the settlement.