Vonkdubfem is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fast dove.

Vonkdubfem created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdubfem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkdubfem, it will strike you with lightening.

Vonkdubfem's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Vonkdubfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Vonkdubfem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.