Nilljaplop is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, merciless guinea pig.

Nilljaplop created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilljaplop, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nilljaplop, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Nilljaplop's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Nilljaplop's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about capybaras.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear pink hats.

5. Never talk about galaxies.