Zedzagfar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical beaver.

Zedzagfar created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedzagfar, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zedzagfar, he will boil you in a big pot.

Zedzagfar's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Zedzagfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Put Zedzagfar first in all things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always look after injured turtles.