Weequaftarp is a god.

He takes the form of a large, self-assured fish.

Weequaftarp created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Weequaftarp, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Weequaftarp, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Weequaftarp's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Weequaftarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Hide from red eagles for they are unholy.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.