Kenvogpad Milwitgig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, cheerful capybara.

Kenvogpad Milwitgig created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenvogpad Milwitgig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kenvogpad Milwitgig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kenvogpad Milwitgig's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Kenvogpad Milwitgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near otters while wearing black hats and balancing seven gold spheres on your hands.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.