Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, impressive porpoise.

Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti created a Higgs boson eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bedjipcetkemtenlidsidtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five monkeys approach from the south.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about spacetime near shrews while wearing magenta rings and balancing three platinum spheres on your head.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.