Tabwegstaf Fignan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered snake.

Tabwegstaf Fignan created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabwegstaf Fignan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tabwegstaf Fignan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tabwegstaf Fignan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tabwegstaf Fignan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never pour water over plants.