Yakquagnutt is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring wyrm.

Yakquagnutt created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakquagnutt, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yakquagnutt, it will come to you in dreams.

Yakquagnutt's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yakquagnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Yakquagnutt must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Yakquagnutt on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed turnips to mites while wearing red hats.