Lad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair spider.

Lad created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Lad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always stare at clouds.