Kinzedbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, resourceful eagle.

Kinzedbarn created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinzedbarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kinzedbarn, he will turn you into a mouse.

Kinzedbarn's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kinzedbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Worship no other gods but Kinzedbarn.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not take Kinzedbarn's name in vain.

5. Do not stand on grass.