Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, egotistical dove.

Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot, it will manifest in front of you.

Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near hamsters.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Garfetgod Wiknuttragrot in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.