Linfatcub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent octopus.

Linfatcub created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Linfatcub, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Linfatcub, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Linfatcub's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Linfatcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.