Jingudwip Pibontstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered swan.

Jingudwip Pibontstig created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Jingudwip Pibontstig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jingudwip Pibontstig, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jingudwip Pibontstig's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jingudwip Pibontstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Jingudwip Pibontstig must be the most important thing in your life.