Fotxenyam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, resourceful porpoise.

Fotxenyam created dark energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotxenyam, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fotxenyam, he will be very unhappy.

Fotxenyam's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fotxenyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never laugh in the presence of great tits.

3. Always help gulls.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed lots of apples to hamsters while wearing red scarves.