Lagfabsit Naknillflab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, calm alligator.

Lagfabsit Naknillflab created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Lagfabsit Naknillflab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagfabsit Naknillflab, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Lagfabsit Naknillflab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lagfabsit Naknillflab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Lagfabsit Naknillflab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear green.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.