Tafzedtif Tinlenjan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty dove.

Tafzedtif Tinlenjan created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafzedtif Tinlenjan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tafzedtif Tinlenjan, she will send minions to preach to you.

Tafzedtif Tinlenjan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tafzedtif Tinlenjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. You must pray to Tafzedtif Tinlenjan seven times a day.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.