Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous chicken.

Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine swans approach from the north.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gabdodhotzodfom Timligbim Wotbasslarg.

5. Never think about black holes.