Witkimlag is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful rat.

Witkimlag created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witkimlag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Witkimlag, it will turn you into a tree.

Witkimlag's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Witkimlag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick shrews.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Witkimlag.

5. Do not drink alcohol.