Lakbessfom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, all-powerful swan.

Lakbessfom created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakbessfom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lakbessfom, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lakbessfom's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lakbessfom's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Do not keep six manatees in a large pit.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Lakbessfom in the centre of the settlement.