Honlikmil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient lion.

Honlikmil created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honlikmil, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Honlikmil, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Honlikmil's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Honlikmil's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Honlikmil.

2. Never write about nucleic acids.

3. You must never eat corn.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not eat wheat.