Waddussbin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow armadillo.

Waddussbin created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Waddussbin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Waddussbin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Waddussbin's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Waddussbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed melons to sheep while wearing red skirts.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Waddussbin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.