Tafrilhen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, uncaring seal.

Tafrilhen created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafrilhen, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tafrilhen, she will ignore you.

Tafrilhen's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tafrilhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Put Tafrilhen first in all things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.