Wap Wadyakhom is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy naga.

Wap Wadyakhom created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wap Wadyakhom, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wap Wadyakhom, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Wap Wadyakhom's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Wap Wadyakhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Wap Wadyakhom loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Put Wap Wadyakhom first in all things.