Cabtettibed is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, loving giraffe.

Cabtettibed created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabtettibed, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cabtettibed, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cabtettibed's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cabtettibed's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.