Mildissmatcar is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous owl.

Mildissmatcar created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mildissmatcar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mildissmatcar, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mildissmatcar's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Mildissmatcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat spinach.

2. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

3. Mildissmatcar must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.