Nullkembest is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic aardvark.

Nullkembest created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Nullkembest, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nullkembest, he will ignore you.

Nullkembest's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nullkembest's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Nullkembest loves sharks, so they must be honoured.