Flatfumsaw is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, stupid
hummingbird.
Flatfumsaw created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Flatfumsaw, he will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Flatfumsaw, he will throw large rocks at you.
Flatfumsaw's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.
Flatfumsaw's Holy Commandments1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.
2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.
3. Flatfumsaw loves ducks, so they must be respected.
4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
5. Do not dye your hair black.