Tanbembad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful dugong.

Tanbembad created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tanbembad, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tanbembad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tanbembad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tanbembad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Never paint your hands blue.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.