Sagflagquim is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered seal.

Sagflagquim created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Sagflagquim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sagflagquim, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sagflagquim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sagflagquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not take Sagflagquim's name in vain.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never talk about fire.