Kinwippig is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, astonishing guinea pig.

Kinwippig created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Kinwippig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Kinwippig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Kinwippig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Kinwippig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing mauve coats and balancing three carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never talk about dark matter.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.