Nakstanrill is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthinking crab.

Nakstanrill created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakstanrill, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakstanrill, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nakstanrill's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Nakstanrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to great tits while wearing white dresses.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Run away from blue snakes, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never think about planets.