Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental grasshopper.

Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak, she will destroy your home solar system.

Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nutcarnurt Gumhubpak's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured whales.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.