Fudnarlmon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unfair dugong.

Fudnarlmon created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fudnarlmon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fudnarlmon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fudnarlmon's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fudnarlmon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Fudnarlmon on top of all buildings.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.