Dutvabgil is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, quiet scorpion.

Dutvabgil created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dutvabgil, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dutvabgil, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dutvabgil's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dutvabgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never feed melons to mites while wearing trousers.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

5. Never look at planets.