Stercatwap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, selfish centipede.

Stercatwap created an electron nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stercatwap, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stercatwap, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Stercatwap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Stercatwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near seals.

2. You must pray to Stercatwap seven times a day.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stercatwap.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.