Pidfebsawbam is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, generous tortoise.

Pidfebsawbam created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidfebsawbam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pidfebsawbam, he will cry a lot.

Pidfebsawbam's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Pidfebsawbam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pidfebsawbam.

2. Run away if seven ants approach from the east.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always help eagles.