Yarflambotont is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered gerbil.

Yarflambotont created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarflambotont, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarflambotont, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yarflambotont's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Yarflambotont's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat pigs with great respect.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Put Yarflambotont first in all things.