Quillcuthub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic wyvern.

Quillcuthub created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillcuthub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quillcuthub, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quillcuthub's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quillcuthub's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quillcuthub.

3. Do not kill snails.

4. Never think about gravity near shrews while wearing blue shoes and balancing six silver spheres on your arms.

5. Never leap near bats.