Lakgeppadpan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, smart tapir.

Lakgeppadpan created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lakgeppadpan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lakgeppadpan, it will turn you into a hamster.

Lakgeppadpan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Lakgeppadpan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Erect four silver sculptures of Lakgeppadpan on top of important buildings.

3. Always obey Lakgeppadpan's priests.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide from indigo capybaras for they are unholy.