Bignutbed is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciless mongoose.

Bignutbed created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bignutbed, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bignutbed, she will turn you into a dog.

Bignutbed's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bignutbed's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Never feed lots of parsnips to dolphins while wearing fawn hats.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never write about bacteria.