Hotspagdub is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonest rat.

Hotspagdub created the planet Jupiter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotspagdub, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hotspagdub, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hotspagdub's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hotspagdub's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Never feed turnips to bats while wearing black boots.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never look in ponds.