Tomcitbet is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional narwhal.

Tomcitbet created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomcitbet, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tomcitbet, he will destroy your home planet.

Tomcitbet's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tomcitbet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven turtles approach from the south.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.